Lately I’ve been contemplating my relationship with God. Or if I’m honest, lack thereof. I don’t know. God is such a vast and broad concept that too many times I try to define by – here comes the cliche – putting God in a box.

I struggle with the concept.

I can only ever experience my own particular world. It’s true; every thing that comes into my sphere I interpret through my own lens. Preconceived notions, childhood and social conditioning, biases, etc.

Actually, this is true of all souls that walk this planet. So in many ways we are like billions of tiny unique universes living together on earth. But I digress.

The homeless man is a series in which I try to be honest with myself about how I interact with God. In fact, the homeless man to me represents God. I don’t really apologize that the homeless man is male. God holds both female and male attributes or rather, is genderless- I acknowledge that.

My first interpretation of God, however, was that of the man upstairs just waiting around to zap me for some silly infraction. I was a child, life was pretty black and white. If this, then that.

That worked really well until I grew up and life got extremely gray.

I’d like to think I’ve matured, but when things get difficult I find myself falling back to my default stance. God is off in the distance somewhere, kind of mean, and if I don’t do my part to appease him then I might get the bolt. Deep down I know this isn’t true, but why do I insist on continuing down that thought trail?

The homeless man also represents the truth and the present moment. God is Truth. God is Now. Therefore, neither Truth nor God is ever outside of my grasp. Both can be accessed now. It just requires my attention.

Sometimes truth hurts.

Sometimes truth is so far fetched I refuse to acknowledge it. Choosing to blind myself.

Other times it is so far outside of my sphere of acceptable interpretation that I run from it.

But Truth is Truth, now. Just like God is God. Now and Forever. This simple concept is so very difficult to grasp. I find myself in a constant state of resistance. Not here. Not now. Why here? Why now?

When God introduced himself to Moses by means of the burning bush, Moses demanded a name. Laughable! Immediately Moses wanted a single word, concrete concept in order to better understand and perhaps relay his experience. In so many ways, I find myself demanding the same thing.

God’s answer? I AM that I AM

It doesn’t get any more simple (and complicated) than that.

God is Now. But don’t get too comfortable because Now is a free flowing river. Never ending, constantly changing yet forever the same.

The series The Homeless Man is just my way of being honest with myself while I try to face the truth head on and make changes in my life that will ultimately help me live a life in harmony with… God. Truth. Now.